I've tried. I've tried really bloody hard. I can find a positive in most genres of music and usually the odd act i can tolerate, but Dubstep is shit. Whats worse is how Radio 1's presenting staff seem to be pushing it as if there is no tomorrow and gushing over how painfully brilliant every last farting bleep is, when it is blatantly balls.
The latest golden children of Dubstep are Magnetic Man and Katy B. Heavens be praised, they've recorded a single together which is boring. No other word for it. They even went to the trouble of recording a session performance with loads of live strings which sounded as though a lot of work had gone in to it, but the fact remains that you can't polish a turd and the song is still tedious. Katy B also wimped out of doing the high bits, but put in an otherwise decent performance. It probably lasted for about three minutes, but felt like it went on in excess of a fortnight, wallowing from one swoopy effect to the next.
In fairness, i already hated both Magnetic Man and Katy B's debut singles before i heard this one. The former (I Need Air) using some of the most painfully irritating vocal effects of all time. It was one song that i felt rather than air, needed asphyxiation.
I really do wonder what the hell the playlist morons are on at Radio 1. (Hello Aled Haydn Jones.) They are missing some really good music at the moment, simply because the playlist group seem to be on a mission to remove anything with guitars, hooks and (dare i even say it) choruses from the airwaves between 97 and 99. Instead we get binges of weak dance music (Tim Berg's Seek Bromance - yawwwwwwn), boring dubstep and cringeworthy urban slop from 1Xtra.
That brings me neatly on to my second subject for today. I have quite liked Tinie Tempah when he's been on with Chris Moyles. He comes across as quite a decent sort of chap. But his music is just awful. Passout was the anthem for binge drinking twelve year olds. Frisky was the anthem for pregnant twelve year olds. And his latest collaboration with Swedish House Mafia seems to have been written by a twelve year old going through puberty in three minutes. Its slimy, nasty and utterly embarassing.
To finish with a line that could have been written for a party conference: Britain needs better. And Britain can do better.
There. Who da statesman, aiii?
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