Angry Anderson's even angrier sibling writes...
Lady Gaga - Love Game (Pissdiscs)
Seriously. Come on. What depths are there left to plunge after the lyrics "lets have some fun, this beat is sick / i wanna take a ride on your disco stick"? Actually, thats a rhetorical question. There are no depths left to plunge thanks to America's female answer to Beavis sniggering her way through another turgid bucket of sick that she can't perform live for toffee.
Jordin Sparks - Let The Music Play (Felchsound)
The world doesn't need another weak cover of Shannon's Let The Music Play. Especially when that weak cover features some abysmally poor rewritten verses about boyfriends. The mystique and starstruck vibe of the original has been replaced by words which the record label would describe as an anthem to clubbing in the same way that Play by Jennifer Lopez was. Horrible.
Escala - Children (The Phantastic Soundz of Monkeydung)
Oh joy of joys. Britain's Got No Talent's number one electric string playing muppets have recorded a cover version of Robert Miles' Children which joylessly sucks all the life out of it like a spider extracting the lifeblood from an insect. It really is that horribly bad and a shameless attempt to make money from something to which their regurgitation adds absolutely nothing.
Friday 28 August 2009
Sunday 16 August 2009
Embarassing Single Reviews....
I should be ashamed of some of the things i'm about to write... Perhaps my standards are on holiday.
3-Oh!-3 - Don't Trust Me (Asylum)
Apparently a boyband from the states. This bit of inoffensive daytime radio power-fluff is quite a good listen with swagger to burn more hooks than Lady Gaga could fit on an entire album, plus bonus disc. Of course they're not as cool or in favour as some truly terrible acts at the moment, but if they produce more tunes like this they've got a potentially bright future.
Ian Brown - Stellify (Polydor)
A bit of an odd title, but don't let that put you off. This is Ian Brown's most instant song since F.E.A.R and begs for lots of airplay and attention, particularly as the 20th anniversary of the Stone Roses album is being trumpeted so much. This upbeat tune should be one of the anthems of the summer - perhaps we could get it swapped so that this gets played every other time Little Boots' Remedy gets playlisted.
Keri Hilson ft KanYe West and Ne-Yo - Knock You Down (Interscope)
I know its been around for quite some time now, but this has properly grown on me. What on paper looks like it should be a complete non-starter for my tastes, is actually quite uplifting and positive for an American R&B record. As it has burbled away fairly quietly in the charts over the past two or three months, it has gently become embedded in my mind without the damage that comes from the overplaying that this genre so often suffers from.
David Guetta ft Akon - Sexy Chick (Virgin)
The alarm bells should have started ringing when i heard the "featuring Akon" tagline, but i approached it with an open mind. Baaaaaad mistake. I'm concerned that David Guetta has been sold to the Americans following from the passable collaboration with Kelly Rowlands on When Love Takes Over. This tedious bit of bog-standard Akon toss is a shambolic slur on Guetta's name and seems to ignore all the soulful work he's done with Chris Willis in the past.
Jeremih - Birthday Sex (Def Jam)
Caution: Insultingly awful slow R&B song aimed at 15 year old chav boys who will make their 13 year old girlfriends pregnant. Should be outlawed under international law for that very reason. And learn how to spell your fucking name while you're at in jail as well.
Bloc Party - One More Chance (Wichita)
Chicago house barnstormer from the recently on-form Bloc Party. Sadly, the UK single release has been bodged on to two vinyl formats, neither of which feature the excellent dance remixes from the likes of Tiesto that have been doing the rounds on promo. If Bloc Party continue this interesting new direction that was started by the Intimacy album, then their future could be really exciting.
Sean Kingston - Fire Burning (RCA)
This is the really embarassing one. I've never been able to listen to anything previously recorded by Sean Kingston without wanting to punch a small child, steal their sweets and then taser them. But there is something about this record which is far more upbeat and likeable than anything else he's produced before, especially that piss poor Beautiful Girls offering. In fact, i'd even go as far as to say this is a quite good dance record for anything coming from the wrong side of the atlantic. Bonus points for not having his portly, slappable face on the cover as well.
Little Boots - Remedy (679 / Atlantic)
My remedy for Little Boots is not to listen to her god awful whining.
Tinchy Strider ft Amelle - Never Leave You (Island)
Tinchy Strider has come a very long way since his mainstream debut, Striderman. He's gradually moved over to a far more poppy sound and his positive upbeat tunes are now a welcome fixture in radio schedules.
Sugababes - Get Sexy (Island)
Simply hideous electro-girlpop shit aimed at the sort of people who think La Roux's lyrics are deep and meaningful. To paraphrase one of the lyrics: Silly girls. They actually buy this toss.
3-Oh!-3 - Don't Trust Me (Asylum)
Apparently a boyband from the states. This bit of inoffensive daytime radio power-fluff is quite a good listen with swagger to burn more hooks than Lady Gaga could fit on an entire album, plus bonus disc. Of course they're not as cool or in favour as some truly terrible acts at the moment, but if they produce more tunes like this they've got a potentially bright future.
Ian Brown - Stellify (Polydor)
A bit of an odd title, but don't let that put you off. This is Ian Brown's most instant song since F.E.A.R and begs for lots of airplay and attention, particularly as the 20th anniversary of the Stone Roses album is being trumpeted so much. This upbeat tune should be one of the anthems of the summer - perhaps we could get it swapped so that this gets played every other time Little Boots' Remedy gets playlisted.
Keri Hilson ft KanYe West and Ne-Yo - Knock You Down (Interscope)
I know its been around for quite some time now, but this has properly grown on me. What on paper looks like it should be a complete non-starter for my tastes, is actually quite uplifting and positive for an American R&B record. As it has burbled away fairly quietly in the charts over the past two or three months, it has gently become embedded in my mind without the damage that comes from the overplaying that this genre so often suffers from.
David Guetta ft Akon - Sexy Chick (Virgin)
The alarm bells should have started ringing when i heard the "featuring Akon" tagline, but i approached it with an open mind. Baaaaaad mistake. I'm concerned that David Guetta has been sold to the Americans following from the passable collaboration with Kelly Rowlands on When Love Takes Over. This tedious bit of bog-standard Akon toss is a shambolic slur on Guetta's name and seems to ignore all the soulful work he's done with Chris Willis in the past.
Jeremih - Birthday Sex (Def Jam)
Caution: Insultingly awful slow R&B song aimed at 15 year old chav boys who will make their 13 year old girlfriends pregnant. Should be outlawed under international law for that very reason. And learn how to spell your fucking name while you're at in jail as well.
Bloc Party - One More Chance (Wichita)
Chicago house barnstormer from the recently on-form Bloc Party. Sadly, the UK single release has been bodged on to two vinyl formats, neither of which feature the excellent dance remixes from the likes of Tiesto that have been doing the rounds on promo. If Bloc Party continue this interesting new direction that was started by the Intimacy album, then their future could be really exciting.
Sean Kingston - Fire Burning (RCA)
This is the really embarassing one. I've never been able to listen to anything previously recorded by Sean Kingston without wanting to punch a small child, steal their sweets and then taser them. But there is something about this record which is far more upbeat and likeable than anything else he's produced before, especially that piss poor Beautiful Girls offering. In fact, i'd even go as far as to say this is a quite good dance record for anything coming from the wrong side of the atlantic. Bonus points for not having his portly, slappable face on the cover as well.
Little Boots - Remedy (679 / Atlantic)
My remedy for Little Boots is not to listen to her god awful whining.
Tinchy Strider ft Amelle - Never Leave You (Island)
Tinchy Strider has come a very long way since his mainstream debut, Striderman. He's gradually moved over to a far more poppy sound and his positive upbeat tunes are now a welcome fixture in radio schedules.
Sugababes - Get Sexy (Island)
Simply hideous electro-girlpop shit aimed at the sort of people who think La Roux's lyrics are deep and meaningful. To paraphrase one of the lyrics: Silly girls. They actually buy this toss.
Holiday Radio
Something bizarre has been happening and for once, i can't decide whether its a good thing or a bad thing. The first week of Chris Moyles' summer break was taken by Scott Mills, but as a result of the Scott Mills Musical happening at Edinburgh during the second week, a different stand-in was needed. The result was the slightly odd combination of Vernon Kay and Comedy Dave.
Now when Vernon stood in for Moyles during the Comic Relief Kilimanjaro Climb, the show worked quite nicely as the features mainly stayed in place and Vernon had the rest of the team to bounce off. Vernon and Dave's show for the past week has sounded a bit local radio. Some of the features have been downright embarassing, where some of it has worked quite well. Overall, i just can't decide what the package was. Whereas there is a genuine chemistry of self-deprocating genius when Chappers and Dave are standing in on various weekend shows, the combination of Vernon and Dave seems to think it is far cooler than it actually is.
Vernon Kay's old Sunday morning Lie-In show was a painfully poor, the radio equivalent of his gormless gurning gameshow host persona, whilst his Saturday morning R1 show is fairly good. So perhaps its just a case of Vernon only working as a radio presenter in certain formats?
As a side note, the current Sunday morning Lie-In host, Sara Cox continues to go from bad to worse. She seems to be ignoring the traditional gentle Sunday format in favour of being shouty and playing music that doesn't fit in with the remit at all. Bring back Dick & Dom, all is forgiven!
Now when Vernon stood in for Moyles during the Comic Relief Kilimanjaro Climb, the show worked quite nicely as the features mainly stayed in place and Vernon had the rest of the team to bounce off. Vernon and Dave's show for the past week has sounded a bit local radio. Some of the features have been downright embarassing, where some of it has worked quite well. Overall, i just can't decide what the package was. Whereas there is a genuine chemistry of self-deprocating genius when Chappers and Dave are standing in on various weekend shows, the combination of Vernon and Dave seems to think it is far cooler than it actually is.
Vernon Kay's old Sunday morning Lie-In show was a painfully poor, the radio equivalent of his gormless gurning gameshow host persona, whilst his Saturday morning R1 show is fairly good. So perhaps its just a case of Vernon only working as a radio presenter in certain formats?
As a side note, the current Sunday morning Lie-In host, Sara Cox continues to go from bad to worse. She seems to be ignoring the traditional gentle Sunday format in favour of being shouty and playing music that doesn't fit in with the remit at all. Bring back Dick & Dom, all is forgiven!
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