I know what you're thinking. It cannot be possible to be more pointless than the plastic party dreckery of Pitbull and his cronies, but i heard something today that was. It comes courtesy of the radio station for people who hate music, Heart.
Cue the awful synth chords that signal the intro of "Give Me Everything" by Pitbull, Neyo and their equine friend Nayer. You know whats coming, some twaddle about pictures on Kodak. But no, this is the version they play on Heart...
The version playlisted by Heart has none of Pitbull's vocals at all. Not even a hype word. Just Neyo and equine friend Nayer repeating the chorus over and over and over and over until your ears bleed. For three minutes anyway.
So there you have it, something more pointless than Pitbull - namely Pitbull without Pitbull.
Wednesday 26 October 2011
Wednesday 5 October 2011
Another ill thought out set of radio musings...
I've changed my listening habits again. Sorry, i should have warned you. Here is what currently floats my boat or sinks it. As i don't often cover it, i'll start with the commercials.
Absolute Radio 90s (DAB / Web).
If i can't find anything else that takes my fancy then this is normally a safe bet for a short stint. Anything longer than that and you get annoyed by the hourly Oasis or Radiohead track. Despite the "no repeat workday", you'll still get at least three or four records by a number of acts though this. Its purely a music thing for me, given that the station doesn't have a massive level of advertising and the station imaging, based entirely on Matt Berry's shouty persona is distinctive. To be honest, the DJs may as well not be there.
Jack FM, Bristol (106.5 FM / Web)
Jack replaced the AOR-based, silky smooth offering of Original, which despite its failure as a product was soon reincarnated as Smooth on 107.2 (itself replacing Star, the livelier offering). The playlist is a terrific mish-mash of guitar based pop and rock from the 60s to date, with uncomplicated imaging and rarely any live voices on air. There are no DJs as such during the daytime, the only live voices heard are occasional news bulletins.
As an aside, i regret that i didn't get in to Star in Bristol sooner. The station had its flaws (the level of advertising was horrific), but the presenters were lively and the music at least modern. I only discovered it when Sara Cox was sitting in for Scott Mills one afternoon and i couldn't bare listening to her self-absorbed waffle. I had intended to record a few hours of the afternoon drivetime show, but then started seeing posters for Smooth and next time i tuned in, the format had been flipped into the new feelgood schmaltz. It was a genuine loss, as the number of ILR stations broadcasting all genres of chart music is dwindling to barely any. You can't call Heart a modern music station as over 70% of the daytime playlist is now just the same, repetitive feelgood dreck. And while i'm complaining about generic ILRs...
Kiss 101, West / South Wales (101.0 FM / DAB / Web)
Kiss has now got to the point where it epitomises everything i hate about modern culture: Terrible, slurring presenters; Awful advertising where every other spot is for chlamydia testing; Playlists dominated by American artists. The playlists on Kiss actually give a good indication of how well the music team at Radio 1 deal with balancing their output, because the most tuneless ego-driven dirge can appear on Kiss at times, again driven by American R&B performers. When i hear some of the pointless smugness that the likes of Beyonce churn out, it really does depress me that it is the only station that seems to have any connection with the teenage market.
BBC Radio Bristol / Somerset (94.9 / 95.5 FM, DAB, Web)
I'm developing something of a love for the joint output of BBC Radio Bristol and Somerset. Admittedly there is still some dung on there that needs sorting out, but there are also some gems in there. Regular readers of this blog will know i'm a fan of Steve Yabsley (M-F 12-14:00) and his subversive anarchy, but we've now also got Elise Rayner on during the afternoons (M-F 14-16:00). After quite a period of instability following the disappearance then arrest of Peter Rowell, the dismal Anna Ford initially filled in and made the whole thing sound like a gardening phone-in. Ford was then replaced by supply jock of choice James Watt who did an excellent job. Elise Rayner has now taken over (perhaps permanently, but who knows in BBC Local Radio) and is doing a sterling job and has a suave interviewing style which gets the best out of her guests. Also of note on Bristol & Somerset is Richard Lewis on Sunday mornings (10-12:00), who delivers a light hearted excavation of his foibles of the week.
BBC Radio 1 - Matt Edmondson (Wednesday 21:00, also Podcast)
They did it very quietly and nobody seemed to notice, but the Radio 1 comedy hour is back on Wednesday nights. Matt Edmondson's show is a combination of sketches, interviews, production trickery and music. Some of it is quite juvenile, but that massively appeals to my sense of humour, especially seeing as nobody is doing anything like this anywhere else on the radio to my knowledge, especially given the level of work that must go on to prepare the show compared to a normal programme.
BBC Radio 2 - Simon Mayo (M-F 17-19:00, also Highlights Podcast)
I've recently got in to Simon Mayo's Radio 2 show, which seems to be a mixture of everything he's done for the BBC - from the frivolity of Radio 1 to the informed speech from Radio 5. Cobmine all this with a sideways take on the Radio 2 playlist and the show has a distinctive feel, crammed with entertainment. Terrific stuff.
BBC Radio 2 - Richard Allinson (Sat/Sun 03-06:00)
I love Richard Allinson's effortless presenting style and freeflowing programmes. Opinion on the internet seems to be split as to whether he is a hidden Radio 2 headliner or the incarnation of Alan Partridge, but i think there is a clear line between cheesiness and everyman affability, with Allinson falling clearly in the latter category.
For my money, Radio 2 is a collection of polar opposites with the awful (Chris Evans, Jeremy Vine's shouting shop, Steve Wright, Dermot o'Leary) and the sublime (Alex Lester, Ken Bruce, Richard Allinson, Miranda Hart & Jon Holmes, Simon Mayo). You have to think about who is on before pressing the preset...
BBC Radio London - Danny Baker (Mon-Fri 14-16:00)
I'm in something of a quandry over Danny Baker. His endless stream of creativity is superb and as an inventive radio presenter there are few who can hold a candle to him. The problem is that there are a couple of aspects of his personality that raise my ire considerably, particularly his oft aired view that if he was offered a job in the USA he'd take it in the blink of an eyelid. To me that demonstrates a high level of contempt for your audience. Also his appearance of Radio 4's Desert Island Discs was excessive in ego-stroking smugness. We know you're good and we know you're popular, but thats no reason to rub the noses of your audience in the glibness of their own existence. I think there has to be a point where even the most overblown radio jock has to demonstrate some humble humility. I've mentioned Baker's London show as it is a more open show than his Saturday morning gig on 5-Live and i think of it is a less constrained format.
Absolute Radio 90s (DAB / Web).
If i can't find anything else that takes my fancy then this is normally a safe bet for a short stint. Anything longer than that and you get annoyed by the hourly Oasis or Radiohead track. Despite the "no repeat workday", you'll still get at least three or four records by a number of acts though this. Its purely a music thing for me, given that the station doesn't have a massive level of advertising and the station imaging, based entirely on Matt Berry's shouty persona is distinctive. To be honest, the DJs may as well not be there.
Jack FM, Bristol (106.5 FM / Web)
Jack replaced the AOR-based, silky smooth offering of Original, which despite its failure as a product was soon reincarnated as Smooth on 107.2 (itself replacing Star, the livelier offering). The playlist is a terrific mish-mash of guitar based pop and rock from the 60s to date, with uncomplicated imaging and rarely any live voices on air. There are no DJs as such during the daytime, the only live voices heard are occasional news bulletins.
As an aside, i regret that i didn't get in to Star in Bristol sooner. The station had its flaws (the level of advertising was horrific), but the presenters were lively and the music at least modern. I only discovered it when Sara Cox was sitting in for Scott Mills one afternoon and i couldn't bare listening to her self-absorbed waffle. I had intended to record a few hours of the afternoon drivetime show, but then started seeing posters for Smooth and next time i tuned in, the format had been flipped into the new feelgood schmaltz. It was a genuine loss, as the number of ILR stations broadcasting all genres of chart music is dwindling to barely any. You can't call Heart a modern music station as over 70% of the daytime playlist is now just the same, repetitive feelgood dreck. And while i'm complaining about generic ILRs...
Kiss 101, West / South Wales (101.0 FM / DAB / Web)
Kiss has now got to the point where it epitomises everything i hate about modern culture: Terrible, slurring presenters; Awful advertising where every other spot is for chlamydia testing; Playlists dominated by American artists. The playlists on Kiss actually give a good indication of how well the music team at Radio 1 deal with balancing their output, because the most tuneless ego-driven dirge can appear on Kiss at times, again driven by American R&B performers. When i hear some of the pointless smugness that the likes of Beyonce churn out, it really does depress me that it is the only station that seems to have any connection with the teenage market.
BBC Radio Bristol / Somerset (94.9 / 95.5 FM, DAB, Web)
I'm developing something of a love for the joint output of BBC Radio Bristol and Somerset. Admittedly there is still some dung on there that needs sorting out, but there are also some gems in there. Regular readers of this blog will know i'm a fan of Steve Yabsley (M-F 12-14:00) and his subversive anarchy, but we've now also got Elise Rayner on during the afternoons (M-F 14-16:00). After quite a period of instability following the disappearance then arrest of Peter Rowell, the dismal Anna Ford initially filled in and made the whole thing sound like a gardening phone-in. Ford was then replaced by supply jock of choice James Watt who did an excellent job. Elise Rayner has now taken over (perhaps permanently, but who knows in BBC Local Radio) and is doing a sterling job and has a suave interviewing style which gets the best out of her guests. Also of note on Bristol & Somerset is Richard Lewis on Sunday mornings (10-12:00), who delivers a light hearted excavation of his foibles of the week.
BBC Radio 1 - Matt Edmondson (Wednesday 21:00, also Podcast)
They did it very quietly and nobody seemed to notice, but the Radio 1 comedy hour is back on Wednesday nights. Matt Edmondson's show is a combination of sketches, interviews, production trickery and music. Some of it is quite juvenile, but that massively appeals to my sense of humour, especially seeing as nobody is doing anything like this anywhere else on the radio to my knowledge, especially given the level of work that must go on to prepare the show compared to a normal programme.
BBC Radio 2 - Simon Mayo (M-F 17-19:00, also Highlights Podcast)
I've recently got in to Simon Mayo's Radio 2 show, which seems to be a mixture of everything he's done for the BBC - from the frivolity of Radio 1 to the informed speech from Radio 5. Cobmine all this with a sideways take on the Radio 2 playlist and the show has a distinctive feel, crammed with entertainment. Terrific stuff.
BBC Radio 2 - Richard Allinson (Sat/Sun 03-06:00)
I love Richard Allinson's effortless presenting style and freeflowing programmes. Opinion on the internet seems to be split as to whether he is a hidden Radio 2 headliner or the incarnation of Alan Partridge, but i think there is a clear line between cheesiness and everyman affability, with Allinson falling clearly in the latter category.
For my money, Radio 2 is a collection of polar opposites with the awful (Chris Evans, Jeremy Vine's shouting shop, Steve Wright, Dermot o'Leary) and the sublime (Alex Lester, Ken Bruce, Richard Allinson, Miranda Hart & Jon Holmes, Simon Mayo). You have to think about who is on before pressing the preset...
BBC Radio London - Danny Baker (Mon-Fri 14-16:00)
I'm in something of a quandry over Danny Baker. His endless stream of creativity is superb and as an inventive radio presenter there are few who can hold a candle to him. The problem is that there are a couple of aspects of his personality that raise my ire considerably, particularly his oft aired view that if he was offered a job in the USA he'd take it in the blink of an eyelid. To me that demonstrates a high level of contempt for your audience. Also his appearance of Radio 4's Desert Island Discs was excessive in ego-stroking smugness. We know you're good and we know you're popular, but thats no reason to rub the noses of your audience in the glibness of their own existence. I think there has to be a point where even the most overblown radio jock has to demonstrate some humble humility. I've mentioned Baker's London show as it is a more open show than his Saturday morning gig on 5-Live and i think of it is a less constrained format.
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