BBC Radio 1 has been in something of a wobbly state since Chris Moyles left the breakfast show. Daytime DJs are aware that their listening demographic has changed since Nick Grimshaw took over in the mornings and the station's output as a whole doesn't gel as well as it used to. Certain shows on their own work well, but Greg James in particular seems to have let the talk of him being the Next Big Thing go to his head and the drivetime show is considerably less entertaining than his early breakfast show used to be. The friendly, engaging character who came from student radio is something of a distant memory in the face of some pretty lame radio output at times. In particular, Feet up Friday has now become some excruciatingly drawn out contest between several teams of listeners which leads to a low rent version of Scott Mills' old Wonder Years feature from 5pm on Fridays.
Later on in the weekday schedule, Several presenters (Annie Mac, Huw Stephens and Phil Taggart) have been hotdesking on the Monday to Thursday late night slot prior to the announcement that Taggart and newcomer Alice Levine would be taking it over on a permanent basis from January. This is a step in the right direction - Phil Taggart has been solid on these late night slots and sounds enthusiastic about what he's doing. Whilst Huw Stephens is a great broadcaster, he has sounded rather overworked at times recently cover this, along with Scott Mills show, his own weekend show and the Wednesday midnight indie show. I didn't manage to catch any of Annie Mac's shows in this slot.
The other ear-opener i've recently found is Adele Roberts who spent just over a week covering for Dev on the weekday early breakfast show. Whilst she was mostly working with Dev's features, she was a breath of fresh air from some of the self absorbed nonsense that goes on during daytimes. She is one of the best presenters i've heard come from 1Xtra to Radio 1, with MistaJam being the only other one i really rate.
A lot of criticism gets levelled at Radio 1 (particularly at the bottom of RadioToday articles) for sounding like a student radio station or harvesting all their talent from 1Xtra, but ultimately the problem remains that the breeding grounds for past stars of the station has been commercial local radio. The broadcast of tapes of teenage Scott Mills on air in Hampshire; or Chris Moyles on Radio Luxembourg or one of JK and Joel on Yorkshire Coast Radio only serve to illustrate how few opportunities there are for distinctive voices to flourish with heavily networked programming, particularly off peak amongst the larger commercial groups. The recent furore with Danny Baker on BBC London has served to illustrate that a tremendously popular broadcaster who generates huge loyalty from his audience is unlikely to get recruited because he *shock*horror* may have opinions occasionally rather than being the bland cardboard cut outs who fill two minutes of every hour on Heart between the mind numbing feelshit playlist and adverts.
But at least Radio 1 are gaining distinctive new voices, and not going down the Heart route of solely recruiting people who are already c-list celebrities. The station still has a lot of work to do in order to regain the momentum it had three or four years ago, sorting out the cheap and nasty sounding station imaging might be a start because every time i hear that girl with her teeth pressed against her lips saying the name of the DJ as if she's looking to start a fight with them, i still cringe...
Friday 14 December 2012
Wednesday 12 December 2012
It'll soon be time to stuff the trimmings and decorate the turkey....
Christmas on the wireless is often a challenging time. Many normal listeners are not there, a few extra people who don't normally listen to radio will find themselves listening to something which isn't a normal show. It might be a stand in DJ, a one-off special or a blast from the past. After a slightly disappointing showing in 2011, the BBC are giving us loads of them this year on both national and local radio.
I'll start with a bit of a history lesson. One of the oldest tapes i have (somewhere) is of a pre-taped christmas morning show on Radio Bristol with Terry Scott and June Whitfield. There was something of a tradition during the 80s that the star names from that year's Bristol Hippodrome Pantomime would record the links for an hours worth of local radio on the 25th and this was such an example. The intro was by far the most entertaining part as Scott and Whitfield painted a lovely sound picture of turning up at a tumbledown radio studio in a shed, nestling in a city that was asleep. If nothing else, it gives an indication of how much times have changed since then (and despite researching it online, i haven't yet found a conclusive answer as to which year it was), Bristol now being a city when Christmas Day traffic is just as bad as the rest of the year and every branch of Tesco Express is open for business.
But i digress, although i took an interest in Radio 4's entertaining special editions of comedy series, i didn't pay a great deal of attention to what was happening on music radio until the mid 2000s. Being newly reborn into the early Moyles and Mills era of Radio 1, i was entertained by the likes of Nihal and Mark "Chappers" Chapman. Chappers shows were often based around a mix of Scott Mills' best bits and his own features with freeform input from the audience, a fresher and less lazy version of Steve Wright's interminable "Best of the Guests" show format.
When iPlayer and recordable DAB streams began to appear for BBC Local Radio, i also started taking an interest in their seasonal output. The ever reliable Steve Yabsley produced a Christmas Morning show in 2008 which was a lot less reliant on cliches i had expected; whilst there were a number of conversation points based around Christmas material (playing tetris with food in the fridge in order to get it all in was an amusing image) a minimum of christmas music was played and even the standard BBC Local Radio playlist had been opened to include a wider range than the usual easygoing wallpaper.
In 2010 on 23rd December, Ed Stewart popped up sitting in for the BBC Bristol and Somerset afternoon show and spent quite a long time chattering about films. I'm not sure if he was enjoying himself particularly and to my knowledge he hasn't reappeared on there since, although will be on Radio 2 this year.
Another feature of BBC Local Radio over recent years has been the seasonal one-off appearances of Adrian Juste. I have vague memories of his weekend shows from the 80s and its fair to say 25 years haven't changed his style. The technology makes it easier for him to put his Kenny Everett style tricks together, but his delivery is still as good as ever and in my opinion it makes a refreshing change to hear somebody who puts a phenomenal level of prep work into their output. Sadly his 2011 show was only broadcast on four of the Beeb locals in Devon, Glos, Wilts and Guernsey (thank heavens for iPlayer!), but he returns to Bristol, Somerset and Cornwall for 2012 too. In addition he's doubling his annual output with a show on BBC Radio Devon on New Year's Day 2013.
There are also a number of specials across the national networks, aside from the spoken word output of Radio 4 and 5-Live. Here are some i'm looking forward to:
Radio 1:
Christmas Eve 21h00: Matt Edmondson has an extra show in the usual Radio 1 Stories slot. It'll probably be a best of compilation of his Wednesday night show.
Christmas Day 21h00: Dan and Phil who will take over a weekend show in the new year, having had a longer slot last year billed by their YouTube handles of "AmazingPhil and DanIsNotOnFire".
26-8th 16h00: Dance DJ Danny Howard presents his first non-genre specific shows.
Boxing Day 21h00: Comedian Nick Helm has an hour long show.
27th Dec 21h00: Comic Roisin Conaty (from BBC Three's popular dare show Impractical Jokers)
Radio 2:
Throughout Christmas and New Year, Richard Allinson sits in for Chris Evans on Breakfast.
From Christmas Eve until New Year, Mark Goodier covers the Midday Jeremy Vine shouting match slot. It'll be interesting to see what he brings to a BBC National audience after over a decade away.
Christmas Day 09h00: Ed Stewart resurrects Junior Choice for two hours.
25/26/27th 14h00: French and Saunders.
Boxing Day 21h00: Rory Bremner documentary on Mike Yarwood.
Fri 28th Dec 14h00: Danny Baker returns to music radio for the first time since leaving BBC London. I'll be disappointed if "It's Bernie!" doesn't get an airing...
Several new documentaries also start in the week of New Year too.
6 Music:
Christmas Day 13h00: John Cooper Clarke. It could be brilliant, it will certainly be eclectic.
Loads of daytime shows by 6 Music stand in regulars Jon Hillcock, Tom Ravenscroft, Chris Hawkins, Jo Good and Nemone appear over the season, plus Craig Charles on daytimes.
If nothing else, it'll be a good opportunity for those of us who mainly listen to daytime radio to hear some new voices.
I'll start with a bit of a history lesson. One of the oldest tapes i have (somewhere) is of a pre-taped christmas morning show on Radio Bristol with Terry Scott and June Whitfield. There was something of a tradition during the 80s that the star names from that year's Bristol Hippodrome Pantomime would record the links for an hours worth of local radio on the 25th and this was such an example. The intro was by far the most entertaining part as Scott and Whitfield painted a lovely sound picture of turning up at a tumbledown radio studio in a shed, nestling in a city that was asleep. If nothing else, it gives an indication of how much times have changed since then (and despite researching it online, i haven't yet found a conclusive answer as to which year it was), Bristol now being a city when Christmas Day traffic is just as bad as the rest of the year and every branch of Tesco Express is open for business.
But i digress, although i took an interest in Radio 4's entertaining special editions of comedy series, i didn't pay a great deal of attention to what was happening on music radio until the mid 2000s. Being newly reborn into the early Moyles and Mills era of Radio 1, i was entertained by the likes of Nihal and Mark "Chappers" Chapman. Chappers shows were often based around a mix of Scott Mills' best bits and his own features with freeform input from the audience, a fresher and less lazy version of Steve Wright's interminable "Best of the Guests" show format.
When iPlayer and recordable DAB streams began to appear for BBC Local Radio, i also started taking an interest in their seasonal output. The ever reliable Steve Yabsley produced a Christmas Morning show in 2008 which was a lot less reliant on cliches i had expected; whilst there were a number of conversation points based around Christmas material (playing tetris with food in the fridge in order to get it all in was an amusing image) a minimum of christmas music was played and even the standard BBC Local Radio playlist had been opened to include a wider range than the usual easygoing wallpaper.
In 2010 on 23rd December, Ed Stewart popped up sitting in for the BBC Bristol and Somerset afternoon show and spent quite a long time chattering about films. I'm not sure if he was enjoying himself particularly and to my knowledge he hasn't reappeared on there since, although will be on Radio 2 this year.
Another feature of BBC Local Radio over recent years has been the seasonal one-off appearances of Adrian Juste. I have vague memories of his weekend shows from the 80s and its fair to say 25 years haven't changed his style. The technology makes it easier for him to put his Kenny Everett style tricks together, but his delivery is still as good as ever and in my opinion it makes a refreshing change to hear somebody who puts a phenomenal level of prep work into their output. Sadly his 2011 show was only broadcast on four of the Beeb locals in Devon, Glos, Wilts and Guernsey (thank heavens for iPlayer!), but he returns to Bristol, Somerset and Cornwall for 2012 too. In addition he's doubling his annual output with a show on BBC Radio Devon on New Year's Day 2013.
There are also a number of specials across the national networks, aside from the spoken word output of Radio 4 and 5-Live. Here are some i'm looking forward to:
Radio 1:
Christmas Eve 21h00: Matt Edmondson has an extra show in the usual Radio 1 Stories slot. It'll probably be a best of compilation of his Wednesday night show.
Christmas Day 21h00: Dan and Phil who will take over a weekend show in the new year, having had a longer slot last year billed by their YouTube handles of "AmazingPhil and DanIsNotOnFire".
26-8th 16h00: Dance DJ Danny Howard presents his first non-genre specific shows.
Boxing Day 21h00: Comedian Nick Helm has an hour long show.
27th Dec 21h00: Comic Roisin Conaty (from BBC Three's popular dare show Impractical Jokers)
Radio 2:
Throughout Christmas and New Year, Richard Allinson sits in for Chris Evans on Breakfast.
From Christmas Eve until New Year, Mark Goodier covers the Midday Jeremy Vine shouting match slot. It'll be interesting to see what he brings to a BBC National audience after over a decade away.
Christmas Day 09h00: Ed Stewart resurrects Junior Choice for two hours.
25/26/27th 14h00: French and Saunders.
Boxing Day 21h00: Rory Bremner documentary on Mike Yarwood.
Fri 28th Dec 14h00: Danny Baker returns to music radio for the first time since leaving BBC London. I'll be disappointed if "It's Bernie!" doesn't get an airing...
Several new documentaries also start in the week of New Year too.
6 Music:
Christmas Day 13h00: John Cooper Clarke. It could be brilliant, it will certainly be eclectic.
Loads of daytime shows by 6 Music stand in regulars Jon Hillcock, Tom Ravenscroft, Chris Hawkins, Jo Good and Nemone appear over the season, plus Craig Charles on daytimes.
If nothing else, it'll be a good opportunity for those of us who mainly listen to daytime radio to hear some new voices.
Tuesday 9 October 2012
Over the brink
I've been intending to do a post about Nick Grimshaw's breakfast show for some time now, the problem being that until now i hadn't reached a conclusion.
There is no denying that Grimshaw was going to have a massive challenge to take over from arguably Radio 1's most successful breakfast show and the cracks started appearing very quickly. The decision to only have Nick's voice on air most of the time was quickly overturned when it became clear he needed somebody to bounce off. It is difficult to actually sound like you're having fun on the air when you're alone and regardless of how much Ben Cooper wanted to get shot of the zoo format, we soon found that nothing sounds as lonely as a socialite with no friends. The result is that we now regularly hear the voices of the producer and broadcast assistant, which aids things greatly.
One thing i liked about Chris Moyles was his ability to admit when he'd changed his opinion on something. Quite often he'd criticise records on their first play, but would then openly admit it had grown on him. Compare this to Grimshaw who heavily criticised Swedish House Mafia's "Don't You Worry Child" on his first play and declared he was "never going to play that again", yet did several times before the end of the week without further comment. If you're going to have opinions, they need some weight to make them mean anything.
Anyway, i hadn't intended for this to be a complete hatchet job. The 08:45 quiz Showquizness is quite entertaining, although does wear thin when it becomes clear that they've got a very limited number of clips of the Showbot, a robotic voice that theoretically poses the questions in the quiz. It is effectively a pale immitation of Car Park Catchphrase with a recorded voice interacting with the DJ, except that the interaction isn't as well planned and feels a lot more clunky.
The show branding has been completely changed to fall in with the general station imaging and spoken jingles stating "Radio One's Breakfast Show with Nick Grimshaw" which suggest that he is pretty much interchangeable with any other name they wish to put in there. It doesn't scream longevity to me.
Another factor that doesn't endear the new show to the higher aged demographic is the fact that we've had three excruciating weeks of hype about the Teen Awards which seems to require One Direction to be mentioned at least every three seconds. To be honest, i've been able to put up with these short term distractions (Teen Awards, Brits Week, Big Weekends) because they're only there for a little while before being forgotten about again.
In truth, i'd been a bit meh about the whole thing and had neither found anything to really like or dislike about the whole package. That came to an end this morning when i decided to switch off. The ignorant fashionista twat came out when Grimshaw declared Television Centre (where he's hosting an episode of Never Mind The Buzzcocks) to be "like an 80s hospital" and complain because he couldn't get a phone signal in there, seemingly oblivious to the fact that the building has been there for a lot longer than him and is arguably the second most important building in British television after Alexandra Palace.
I could quite easily bang on for hours about TVC being the field of dreams, the blank canvas on to which artists paint pictures and bring them to life or a portal to another world where anything is possible... but i won't. But then again, i won't cluelessly dismiss it as "something off of the eighties". I want to be entertained by people who either amuse me, broaden my horizons or both. Grimshaw does neither, so after getting on for nine years i'm looking for a new breakfast frequency.
There is no denying that Grimshaw was going to have a massive challenge to take over from arguably Radio 1's most successful breakfast show and the cracks started appearing very quickly. The decision to only have Nick's voice on air most of the time was quickly overturned when it became clear he needed somebody to bounce off. It is difficult to actually sound like you're having fun on the air when you're alone and regardless of how much Ben Cooper wanted to get shot of the zoo format, we soon found that nothing sounds as lonely as a socialite with no friends. The result is that we now regularly hear the voices of the producer and broadcast assistant, which aids things greatly.
One thing i liked about Chris Moyles was his ability to admit when he'd changed his opinion on something. Quite often he'd criticise records on their first play, but would then openly admit it had grown on him. Compare this to Grimshaw who heavily criticised Swedish House Mafia's "Don't You Worry Child" on his first play and declared he was "never going to play that again", yet did several times before the end of the week without further comment. If you're going to have opinions, they need some weight to make them mean anything.
Anyway, i hadn't intended for this to be a complete hatchet job. The 08:45 quiz Showquizness is quite entertaining, although does wear thin when it becomes clear that they've got a very limited number of clips of the Showbot, a robotic voice that theoretically poses the questions in the quiz. It is effectively a pale immitation of Car Park Catchphrase with a recorded voice interacting with the DJ, except that the interaction isn't as well planned and feels a lot more clunky.
The show branding has been completely changed to fall in with the general station imaging and spoken jingles stating "Radio One's Breakfast Show with Nick Grimshaw" which suggest that he is pretty much interchangeable with any other name they wish to put in there. It doesn't scream longevity to me.
Another factor that doesn't endear the new show to the higher aged demographic is the fact that we've had three excruciating weeks of hype about the Teen Awards which seems to require One Direction to be mentioned at least every three seconds. To be honest, i've been able to put up with these short term distractions (Teen Awards, Brits Week, Big Weekends) because they're only there for a little while before being forgotten about again.
In truth, i'd been a bit meh about the whole thing and had neither found anything to really like or dislike about the whole package. That came to an end this morning when i decided to switch off. The ignorant fashionista twat came out when Grimshaw declared Television Centre (where he's hosting an episode of Never Mind The Buzzcocks) to be "like an 80s hospital" and complain because he couldn't get a phone signal in there, seemingly oblivious to the fact that the building has been there for a lot longer than him and is arguably the second most important building in British television after Alexandra Palace.
I could quite easily bang on for hours about TVC being the field of dreams, the blank canvas on to which artists paint pictures and bring them to life or a portal to another world where anything is possible... but i won't. But then again, i won't cluelessly dismiss it as "something off of the eighties". I want to be entertained by people who either amuse me, broaden my horizons or both. Grimshaw does neither, so after getting on for nine years i'm looking for a new breakfast frequency.
Tuesday 2 October 2012
Strange faced Ellie Goulding
I do try not to comment on the appearances of pop stars where i can help it, but every so often i have to make an exception and as i've always referred to her as "Strange faced Ellie Goulding", i see no reason to change now. I do think she looks odd. Her new asymetric mullet hair doesn't help matters either.
I can't get my head around Ms Goulding's latest song and lead track from her second album. She's taken a cut in the tempo of her original material from her first album and Anything Could Happen sits at the sort of pace of a Moombahton track. Whilst i quite like the composition of the song, there is far too much reliance on a stupid earworm of vocal loops created by studio trickery, particularly as this forms the main chorus of the song. Just as it feels the song is going to some sort of epic climax, it slumps back down again.
The other interesting development in her sound has been the appearance of a far more raspy quality to her voice when she's really going for it which has never sounded quite so pronounced before. Quite where it sits with her hiccupy toddler voice the rest of the time, i don't know.
So overall, i really don't know what to think. I find it interesting, but i'm not sure i actually like it and having had a love/hate relationship with Goulding's music in the past (mostly hate if i'm honest), i almost feel as if i should have more of a reaction to it.
I can't get my head around Ms Goulding's latest song and lead track from her second album. She's taken a cut in the tempo of her original material from her first album and Anything Could Happen sits at the sort of pace of a Moombahton track. Whilst i quite like the composition of the song, there is far too much reliance on a stupid earworm of vocal loops created by studio trickery, particularly as this forms the main chorus of the song. Just as it feels the song is going to some sort of epic climax, it slumps back down again.
The other interesting development in her sound has been the appearance of a far more raspy quality to her voice when she's really going for it which has never sounded quite so pronounced before. Quite where it sits with her hiccupy toddler voice the rest of the time, i don't know.
So overall, i really don't know what to think. I find it interesting, but i'm not sure i actually like it and having had a love/hate relationship with Goulding's music in the past (mostly hate if i'm honest), i almost feel as if i should have more of a reaction to it.
A very rickety bandwagon
Its easy to mock, but after getting on for 20 years hammering away at it, the wheels finally appear to have fallen off the bandwagon that is Scooter. Their success in the UK has been a rather hit and miss affair, with two periods of relatively decent success punctuated by long periods of being ignored. In their homeland of Germany, the success has been pretty consistent until now.
The warning signs were there after the 2007 Jumping All Over The World album. Scooter went away for a longer hiatus than they had ever previously taken. Having produced albums roughly annually since 1995, there was silence from the band after a long tour which had seen them sell out venues the likes of which they hadn't even attempted before. The album backed in the UK by a Greatest Hits CD took the top spot in the album chart, which raised many eyebrows and remains something of a thorn in the side of those always claiming the album chart is the one for grown ups. Unusually for Scooter, this album spawned five singles rather than the usual two or three and all went top twenty in Germany.
They returned in 2009 with Under The Radar, Over The Top which acheived reasonable home success, with two of the four singles lifted from it going top twenty. The sound had reverted from the stadium jumpstyle of the previous album to a ragtag mixture of their previous styles that didn't really have any cohesion. Worse was to come with 2011's The Big Mash Up, an alarmingly weak range of lifted samples and rip offs of other tracks in a vague attempt to catch up on the already tired fashion for mashups. Opening single The Only One was (broadly speaking) a cover of the Charlatans' similarly named song and it just sneaked into the German top 50 despite heavy promotion across mainstream TV. Three more singles were dragged off the album, but none inspired the public to reach the top half of the top 100.
Which brings us to 2012 and new album Music For A Big Night Out which is a pissweak title even by Scooter's standards. Lead single 4 AM is a thinly veiled mixture of Otto Knows' Europewide club hit Million Voices, amended just enough to put off the copyright lawyers and the opening couple of lines from Beverley Craven's Promise Me sung by someone who sounds like Rihanna with a cold. Really. Again, this isn't anything that hasn't already been done to death - the Bingo Players had a minor hit with a similarly looped couple of lines from Brenda Russell's Piano In The Dark (1988) the ethos of which has now been "brought to a larger audience" (ripped off) by Flo Rida who has practically made a career out of such works. The 4 AM single limped into the German charts at number 96 on the first week of release and is their worst performing single ever aside from their instrumental xylophone heavy debut Vallee des Larmes.
So where do Scooter go from here? It is difficult seeing any future in copying what the market already has an overload of - identikit dance covers looping a couple of lines of something from the Heart Time Tunnel playlist. They'll doubtlessly find a new direction in the near future and i wouldn't rule out them making a dubstep album.
Seriously.
The warning signs were there after the 2007 Jumping All Over The World album. Scooter went away for a longer hiatus than they had ever previously taken. Having produced albums roughly annually since 1995, there was silence from the band after a long tour which had seen them sell out venues the likes of which they hadn't even attempted before. The album backed in the UK by a Greatest Hits CD took the top spot in the album chart, which raised many eyebrows and remains something of a thorn in the side of those always claiming the album chart is the one for grown ups. Unusually for Scooter, this album spawned five singles rather than the usual two or three and all went top twenty in Germany.
They returned in 2009 with Under The Radar, Over The Top which acheived reasonable home success, with two of the four singles lifted from it going top twenty. The sound had reverted from the stadium jumpstyle of the previous album to a ragtag mixture of their previous styles that didn't really have any cohesion. Worse was to come with 2011's The Big Mash Up, an alarmingly weak range of lifted samples and rip offs of other tracks in a vague attempt to catch up on the already tired fashion for mashups. Opening single The Only One was (broadly speaking) a cover of the Charlatans' similarly named song and it just sneaked into the German top 50 despite heavy promotion across mainstream TV. Three more singles were dragged off the album, but none inspired the public to reach the top half of the top 100.
Which brings us to 2012 and new album Music For A Big Night Out which is a pissweak title even by Scooter's standards. Lead single 4 AM is a thinly veiled mixture of Otto Knows' Europewide club hit Million Voices, amended just enough to put off the copyright lawyers and the opening couple of lines from Beverley Craven's Promise Me sung by someone who sounds like Rihanna with a cold. Really. Again, this isn't anything that hasn't already been done to death - the Bingo Players had a minor hit with a similarly looped couple of lines from Brenda Russell's Piano In The Dark (1988) the ethos of which has now been "brought to a larger audience" (ripped off) by Flo Rida who has practically made a career out of such works. The 4 AM single limped into the German charts at number 96 on the first week of release and is their worst performing single ever aside from their instrumental xylophone heavy debut Vallee des Larmes.
So where do Scooter go from here? It is difficult seeing any future in copying what the market already has an overload of - identikit dance covers looping a couple of lines of something from the Heart Time Tunnel playlist. They'll doubtlessly find a new direction in the near future and i wouldn't rule out them making a dubstep album.
Seriously.
Monday 20 August 2012
Plastic Sunshine 2012
Its been a while and it has taken a lot to push me to it, but i feel anger brewing.....
Rita Ora - How We Do (Party)
Rita Ora's career should have finished right after she guested on the DJ Fresh #1 single Hot Right Now. You know, like the career of Do finished after being a featured artist on Heaven by DJ Sammy featuring Yanou and Do. As if the brick-to-the-face subtlety free zone of R.I.P. featuring Tinie Tempah (hence a guaranteed #1) wasn't bad enough, this latest slice of cod American bilge is truly grotesque. The radio edit is full of blanked out words (apparently Ms Ora gets the drunk sex feeling on a regular basis) and a repeated chorus chant of Party...and party....and party etc which makes Nicki Minaj sound like as if she has the eloquence of William Shakespeare. Everything about it is awful - there is precious little song, the content is vile and the repetitious nature is excruciating.
Wiley featuring Ms D - Heatwave
To quote: "I'm a party. I gone dance. Put your hands all over my body." Only one of these sentences actually makes sense. For a start, the last time i looked it was impossible to be an abstract concept of a social event. The second is clearly grammatically incorrect - perhaps i'm going to dance was the intended meaning, in which case i'd have even accepted i'm gonna dance as a reasonable appropriation of a sentence. The final statement of "put your hands all over my body" just about sums up the attitude to women of the brainless, alcohol fuelled Gary Lagers who will concieve unwanted to children to the rhythm of shit like this. Everything about it is awful - there is precious little song, the content is vile and the repetitious nature is excruciating.
Are you getting a sense of deja vu?
Trey Songz - Simply Amazing
Here is a surprise: it isn't.
Stooshe - Black Heart
I find it really hard to listen to this song without singing along my own lyrics. Daddy i'm falling for a bastard... (and that is the only one i'm willing to share in public). Stooshe are basically a foul mouthed version of the Spice Girls and this is their attempt to do a Motown song, which is partly successful but falls down on the lack of any subtlety that was usually present in the original female ensemble Detroit sound.
Nicki Minaj - Pound The Alarm
Like her previous single, the best bits of it are when Ms Minaj shuts up because whilst the American Black Music industry tears the heart out of the past 25 years of European dance music, there are some interesting sounds from the early 90s popping up from time to time. Its just a shame that we then have to endure Little Miss ADHD spouting her bullshit all over it...
Flo Rida - Whistle
Flo Rida is an amazing interviewee. If you hear a radio interview with him promoted, then make sure you listen to it because for somebody who has made a career out of making brainless party music, he's a completely sourfaced twat with no sense of humour whatsoever. As such, i'll review his latest record in the same way: Its an utterly childish and thinly veiled song about oral sex.
Fun featuring Janelle Monae - We Are Young
About the first 40 seconds is tolerable. The dual-tempo business that is going on is a bit like Franz Ferdinand's Take Me Out. But then it all goes wrong. Instead of turning up the tempo and the brashness, it degenerates into four minutes of the most excruciating overblown, drawn out whiny self congratulation i've ever heard. Star turn from Glastonbury 2011 Janelle Monae has been roped into the bullshit as well, apparently to do backing vocals over about two lines halfway through the song. They probably think they're being dramatic, but ultimately it feels completely false and contrived. On the plus side, follow up single (and album title track) Some Nights is a much better anthem without the drawn out wailing.
Misha B - Homerun
Whereas most reality show contestants end up released abysmally wet singles drawn out from hours in front of focus panels, X-Factor bad girl Misha B has turned up this sparky slice of urban power pop which does a great job of showcasing her style and vocals without sounding cheesy or contrived. It also scores points on not going down the currently fashionable route of making a filthy song which has to be butchered for the radio. On the strength of this, she deserves to have a decent career out of it.
Merdan Taplak - On The Rocks
It becomes obvious that radio stations are crying out for a strong summer anthem when they have to commission their own. Studio Brussel did just that, booking local Belgian-Turkish electro stalwart of the Balkan Beats scene Merdan Taplak to record their summer tune On The Rocks. They've even produced a cocktail book of the same name, which is a marketing masterstroke. The song itself is a euphoric three minute marvel of everything that makes a good summer tune - a bit of house, a shake of electro and some balkan beats without the stupid gimmicks that mars most dance music that is successful in the UK at the moment.
Rita Ora - How We Do (Party)
Rita Ora's career should have finished right after she guested on the DJ Fresh #1 single Hot Right Now. You know, like the career of Do finished after being a featured artist on Heaven by DJ Sammy featuring Yanou and Do. As if the brick-to-the-face subtlety free zone of R.I.P. featuring Tinie Tempah (hence a guaranteed #1) wasn't bad enough, this latest slice of cod American bilge is truly grotesque. The radio edit is full of blanked out words (apparently Ms Ora gets the drunk sex feeling on a regular basis) and a repeated chorus chant of Party...and party....and party etc which makes Nicki Minaj sound like as if she has the eloquence of William Shakespeare. Everything about it is awful - there is precious little song, the content is vile and the repetitious nature is excruciating.
Wiley featuring Ms D - Heatwave
To quote: "I'm a party. I gone dance. Put your hands all over my body." Only one of these sentences actually makes sense. For a start, the last time i looked it was impossible to be an abstract concept of a social event. The second is clearly grammatically incorrect - perhaps i'm going to dance was the intended meaning, in which case i'd have even accepted i'm gonna dance as a reasonable appropriation of a sentence. The final statement of "put your hands all over my body" just about sums up the attitude to women of the brainless, alcohol fuelled Gary Lagers who will concieve unwanted to children to the rhythm of shit like this. Everything about it is awful - there is precious little song, the content is vile and the repetitious nature is excruciating.
Are you getting a sense of deja vu?
Trey Songz - Simply Amazing
Here is a surprise: it isn't.
Stooshe - Black Heart
I find it really hard to listen to this song without singing along my own lyrics. Daddy i'm falling for a bastard... (and that is the only one i'm willing to share in public). Stooshe are basically a foul mouthed version of the Spice Girls and this is their attempt to do a Motown song, which is partly successful but falls down on the lack of any subtlety that was usually present in the original female ensemble Detroit sound.
Nicki Minaj - Pound The Alarm
Like her previous single, the best bits of it are when Ms Minaj shuts up because whilst the American Black Music industry tears the heart out of the past 25 years of European dance music, there are some interesting sounds from the early 90s popping up from time to time. Its just a shame that we then have to endure Little Miss ADHD spouting her bullshit all over it...
Flo Rida - Whistle
Flo Rida is an amazing interviewee. If you hear a radio interview with him promoted, then make sure you listen to it because for somebody who has made a career out of making brainless party music, he's a completely sourfaced twat with no sense of humour whatsoever. As such, i'll review his latest record in the same way: Its an utterly childish and thinly veiled song about oral sex.
Fun featuring Janelle Monae - We Are Young
About the first 40 seconds is tolerable. The dual-tempo business that is going on is a bit like Franz Ferdinand's Take Me Out. But then it all goes wrong. Instead of turning up the tempo and the brashness, it degenerates into four minutes of the most excruciating overblown, drawn out whiny self congratulation i've ever heard. Star turn from Glastonbury 2011 Janelle Monae has been roped into the bullshit as well, apparently to do backing vocals over about two lines halfway through the song. They probably think they're being dramatic, but ultimately it feels completely false and contrived. On the plus side, follow up single (and album title track) Some Nights is a much better anthem without the drawn out wailing.
Misha B - Homerun
Whereas most reality show contestants end up released abysmally wet singles drawn out from hours in front of focus panels, X-Factor bad girl Misha B has turned up this sparky slice of urban power pop which does a great job of showcasing her style and vocals without sounding cheesy or contrived. It also scores points on not going down the currently fashionable route of making a filthy song which has to be butchered for the radio. On the strength of this, she deserves to have a decent career out of it.
Merdan Taplak - On The Rocks
It becomes obvious that radio stations are crying out for a strong summer anthem when they have to commission their own. Studio Brussel did just that, booking local Belgian-Turkish electro stalwart of the Balkan Beats scene Merdan Taplak to record their summer tune On The Rocks. They've even produced a cocktail book of the same name, which is a marketing masterstroke. The song itself is a euphoric three minute marvel of everything that makes a good summer tune - a bit of house, a shake of electro and some balkan beats without the stupid gimmicks that mars most dance music that is successful in the UK at the moment.
Tuesday 31 July 2012
Holiday Season
One of the perks of being a radio listener during the summer is a bit of a break from the listening routines that i normally have and this summer is the bonus round with several of the regulars booking holidays during the Olympics. Patrick Kielty has already spent two weeks in for Simon Mayo on Radio 2 drivetime and now switched to covering for Steve Wright's afternoons, the latter having also been recently covered by Chris Tarrant. For those who have forgotten how good Chris Tarrant is on Radio, these cover shows have been something of a reminder of how well polished his product was on Capital. The style may sound a little dated these days, but Tarrant's high energy presenting style is still nonetheless enjoyable when compared to some of the amateurs who are only on air because they've been on the telly.
Anyway, back to Patrick Kielty. Whilst he wouldn't be my first choice for these covers, he is doing a solid job. The shows are flowing together nicely and he exudes an engaging warmth that was missing from covers by Ryan Tubridy for Ken Bruce and Chris Evans earlier in the year. Kielty would probably benefit from having a regular show on Radio 2 to build his own set of features, and in this respect i'm somewhat surprised that he wasn't given the summer cover for Graham Norton on Saturday mornings. This brings us neatly on to Jon Holmes.
The Jon Holmes Situation is not a Radio 4 sketch show as the title may suggest, rather a transplant of Holmes' 6 Music Saturday Morning show direct to Radio 2, albeit with a less interesting playlist. Whilst Holmes is on Radio 2, the obligatory 6 Music supersub Andrew Collins returns to the slot he has previously co-hosted with Josie Long, Richard Herring and Michael Legge. Whilst these two holiday cover jobs would appear to be something new, in reality they are reassuringly familiar. My one criticism of the Jon Holmes Situation would be that the podcast has shrunk somewhat from the 6 Music offering.
Finally on Radio 2, Sara Cox has been welcomed back in to overnights to cover for Janice Long having spent a week sitting in for Alex Lester earlier in the year, so her previous stint must have been considered a success. Personally, i didn't think Cox's self centred chatter fitted in with Radio 2's normal overnight output, but she clearly relates far more to the Radio 2 playlist than she has done to the Radio 1 output since the turn of the millennium. It is a bit difficult to see where Sara Cox would fit in these days on radio - whereas Zoe Ball has matured in to being accepted on daytime Radio 2, you can't help but feel there is still something needy in the nature of Cox and she hasn't quite shaken off the overgrown teenager image which still comes through in her broadcasting.
Most of the Radio 1 staff have remained in place, but sparky Ulsterman Phil Taggart has been covering the odd weekend slot (Sara Cox on Sunday mornings, Gemma Cairney on weekend breakfast). I find it difficult to dislike Taggart - he has demonstrated a good understanding of music on the Northern Ireland Introducing show, and has a lively style with something of a scattergun approach which sees him taking lots of interesting diversions over the course of a three hour show.
Moving over to local radio, BBC Bristol stalwart sports presenter Geoff Twentyman has taken over Steve Le Fevre's breakfast show for a few weeks and is doing a good job of interviewing people without interrupting them, my perennial pet hate of Le Fevre. I think this is exacerbated by the fact that BBC Bristol trails endlessly praise his "hard hitting" interview technique. I also struggle to distinguish between when Le Fevre is being sarcastic or just patronising and wonder how intentional either are. But i digress. Twentyman's deep scouse tones and less confrontational technique are a considerably easier listen first thing in the morning.
The lunchtime show, normally home to Steve Yabsley has been taken over for this week by Tony James. The first show was technically a complete mess with vocals and jingles being crashed all over the place. The playlist and banter also appear to have degenerated into a sub-Classic Gold 60s "Remember When" set up, guaranteed to alienate anybody under the age of 60. The constant "best part of the country / best radio in the country" patter as he tries to relate to the region is quite painful and out of keeping with the usual station imaging and does hark back to GWR imaging on the late 90s which insisted on calling Bristol the greatest city in the world every five minutes. James is something of a journeyman of local radio since the mid 80s, having broadcast for various ILRs and BBC locals. His website would have you believe he is the sole reason that any radio station ever gains listeners, but for somebody so experienced in broadcasting to be making such a cliched and technically messy show is rather a poor performance. I was almost expecting the "do you remember Spangles" phone in to come along...
Anyway, back to Patrick Kielty. Whilst he wouldn't be my first choice for these covers, he is doing a solid job. The shows are flowing together nicely and he exudes an engaging warmth that was missing from covers by Ryan Tubridy for Ken Bruce and Chris Evans earlier in the year. Kielty would probably benefit from having a regular show on Radio 2 to build his own set of features, and in this respect i'm somewhat surprised that he wasn't given the summer cover for Graham Norton on Saturday mornings. This brings us neatly on to Jon Holmes.
The Jon Holmes Situation is not a Radio 4 sketch show as the title may suggest, rather a transplant of Holmes' 6 Music Saturday Morning show direct to Radio 2, albeit with a less interesting playlist. Whilst Holmes is on Radio 2, the obligatory 6 Music supersub Andrew Collins returns to the slot he has previously co-hosted with Josie Long, Richard Herring and Michael Legge. Whilst these two holiday cover jobs would appear to be something new, in reality they are reassuringly familiar. My one criticism of the Jon Holmes Situation would be that the podcast has shrunk somewhat from the 6 Music offering.
Finally on Radio 2, Sara Cox has been welcomed back in to overnights to cover for Janice Long having spent a week sitting in for Alex Lester earlier in the year, so her previous stint must have been considered a success. Personally, i didn't think Cox's self centred chatter fitted in with Radio 2's normal overnight output, but she clearly relates far more to the Radio 2 playlist than she has done to the Radio 1 output since the turn of the millennium. It is a bit difficult to see where Sara Cox would fit in these days on radio - whereas Zoe Ball has matured in to being accepted on daytime Radio 2, you can't help but feel there is still something needy in the nature of Cox and she hasn't quite shaken off the overgrown teenager image which still comes through in her broadcasting.
Most of the Radio 1 staff have remained in place, but sparky Ulsterman Phil Taggart has been covering the odd weekend slot (Sara Cox on Sunday mornings, Gemma Cairney on weekend breakfast). I find it difficult to dislike Taggart - he has demonstrated a good understanding of music on the Northern Ireland Introducing show, and has a lively style with something of a scattergun approach which sees him taking lots of interesting diversions over the course of a three hour show.
Moving over to local radio, BBC Bristol stalwart sports presenter Geoff Twentyman has taken over Steve Le Fevre's breakfast show for a few weeks and is doing a good job of interviewing people without interrupting them, my perennial pet hate of Le Fevre. I think this is exacerbated by the fact that BBC Bristol trails endlessly praise his "hard hitting" interview technique. I also struggle to distinguish between when Le Fevre is being sarcastic or just patronising and wonder how intentional either are. But i digress. Twentyman's deep scouse tones and less confrontational technique are a considerably easier listen first thing in the morning.
The lunchtime show, normally home to Steve Yabsley has been taken over for this week by Tony James. The first show was technically a complete mess with vocals and jingles being crashed all over the place. The playlist and banter also appear to have degenerated into a sub-Classic Gold 60s "Remember When" set up, guaranteed to alienate anybody under the age of 60. The constant "best part of the country / best radio in the country" patter as he tries to relate to the region is quite painful and out of keeping with the usual station imaging and does hark back to GWR imaging on the late 90s which insisted on calling Bristol the greatest city in the world every five minutes. James is something of a journeyman of local radio since the mid 80s, having broadcast for various ILRs and BBC locals. His website would have you believe he is the sole reason that any radio station ever gains listeners, but for somebody so experienced in broadcasting to be making such a cliched and technically messy show is rather a poor performance. I was almost expecting the "do you remember Spangles" phone in to come along...
Thursday 10 May 2012
Swings and Roundabouts
I can't help but have the feeling that Radio 1's recent swaparound might have had the opposite of the desired effect.
Scott Mills has moved from the drivetime 4pm-7pm show that he's inhabited since 2004 to the afternoon 1pm-4pm slot. The result has become something of a "Best of Scott Mills" with features from the drivetime show which would previously have gone in blocks, running for some six weeks on a daily basis, now appearing on a weekly or twice weekly basis. This shrewd move recognises that there is a far more loyal listener base for the afternoon show, and a much higher number of people who will be listening on a daily basis. Given that one irritating feature on a daily basis could make people retune, this strategy appears to be working. The online streaming of the Innuendo Bingo feature now regularly becomes a trending topic on Twitter whenever it happens, something which i haven't seen any other Radio 1 show manage for a recurring feature without on air promotion.
The other factor is that Mills, along with producer ("The One That Doesn't Speak", Emlyn Dodd) has rebuilt the team around him which at times has sometimes struggled to achieve its best output over recent years following the departure of Mark "Chappers" Chapman (to FiveLive / BBC Sport) and Laura Sayers, who now produces for Greg James. The recent introduction of Chris Stark, whose input varies from laddish to Karl Pilkington-esque obliviousness, has been a success with him rapidly becoming a valuable asset. Similarly, Beccy Huxtable's off-the-wall barminess is also brilliant. The team as a whole seems to be up for anything and always ready to ridicule themselves for a laugh.
So, moving on to the drivetime show. Greg James has moved in to Radio 1's second premium slot and i'm genuinely trying to think of something nice to say to start this section on a positive note. Being honest, i'm not sure i can, which is a shame because i've been a fan of James since he started on early breakfast. The show starts off well enough with three songs in a row, but thats where it ends. Greg then seems to fall into several traps of lame local radio shock jock features - an obligatory "is it just me...?" kicks off, followed by the audio equivalent of a fail blog where James highlights where his fellow DJs have made mistakes over the past 24 hours. Most of the time these are really lame clips of people stumbling over words and things like that, whilst the once affable James now gloats like a smug twat over the lot of it.
And that is before we get to Fridays. I had expected the "Feet Up Friday" feature to transfer over, but now we have three teams of listeners attempting to win control of the section of the show in the run up to Newsbeat at 17:45. The whole thing is just a mess - too many people, some of whom have very strange ideas about their wacky characters and team identities they've assumed for the feature. Over a three hour show it might work, but in scarcely an hour its just a shambles.
I don't think i've ever wanted to like a show so much and been as disappointed as i am with the new Greg James drivetime show.
Scott Mills has moved from the drivetime 4pm-7pm show that he's inhabited since 2004 to the afternoon 1pm-4pm slot. The result has become something of a "Best of Scott Mills" with features from the drivetime show which would previously have gone in blocks, running for some six weeks on a daily basis, now appearing on a weekly or twice weekly basis. This shrewd move recognises that there is a far more loyal listener base for the afternoon show, and a much higher number of people who will be listening on a daily basis. Given that one irritating feature on a daily basis could make people retune, this strategy appears to be working. The online streaming of the Innuendo Bingo feature now regularly becomes a trending topic on Twitter whenever it happens, something which i haven't seen any other Radio 1 show manage for a recurring feature without on air promotion.
The other factor is that Mills, along with producer ("The One That Doesn't Speak", Emlyn Dodd) has rebuilt the team around him which at times has sometimes struggled to achieve its best output over recent years following the departure of Mark "Chappers" Chapman (to FiveLive / BBC Sport) and Laura Sayers, who now produces for Greg James. The recent introduction of Chris Stark, whose input varies from laddish to Karl Pilkington-esque obliviousness, has been a success with him rapidly becoming a valuable asset. Similarly, Beccy Huxtable's off-the-wall barminess is also brilliant. The team as a whole seems to be up for anything and always ready to ridicule themselves for a laugh.
So, moving on to the drivetime show. Greg James has moved in to Radio 1's second premium slot and i'm genuinely trying to think of something nice to say to start this section on a positive note. Being honest, i'm not sure i can, which is a shame because i've been a fan of James since he started on early breakfast. The show starts off well enough with three songs in a row, but thats where it ends. Greg then seems to fall into several traps of lame local radio shock jock features - an obligatory "is it just me...?" kicks off, followed by the audio equivalent of a fail blog where James highlights where his fellow DJs have made mistakes over the past 24 hours. Most of the time these are really lame clips of people stumbling over words and things like that, whilst the once affable James now gloats like a smug twat over the lot of it.
And that is before we get to Fridays. I had expected the "Feet Up Friday" feature to transfer over, but now we have three teams of listeners attempting to win control of the section of the show in the run up to Newsbeat at 17:45. The whole thing is just a mess - too many people, some of whom have very strange ideas about their wacky characters and team identities they've assumed for the feature. Over a three hour show it might work, but in scarcely an hour its just a shambles.
I don't think i've ever wanted to like a show so much and been as disappointed as i am with the new Greg James drivetime show.
Tuesday 3 April 2012
The Importance of Yabsley
Something is bothering me, which tends to be the normal cue to write something on this blog. I’ve noticed before when Steve Yabsley (BBC Bristol / Somerset 12-2 Mon-Fri) is on holiday that I struggle to find anything at all worth listening to on the radio. The dismal Kate Justice who regularly sits in for him seems to be capable of no conversation beyond her own children. Jeremy Vine’s audio slanging match on Radio 2 is hideous, I can’t listen to Fearne Cotton on Radio 1 without wanting to rip my own ears off and none of our local commercial stations can manage anything beyond the usual collection of chart dross, adverts and promo trails for pissweak competitions.
Then I start wondering whether the problem lies in other places. Certainly late night broadcasting is weak, offering nothing with any personality. BBC Radio 1 and 2 use the space for specialist shows aimed mostly at iPlayer listeners and commercial locals will be either on Late Night Love or Party Classics. Either will be dire. I’ve blogged many times about the loss of late night zoo style radio, but now the “twenty shades of beige” seems to be spreading to daytimes. Aside from breakfast, there is precious little I find to be an appointment to listen, whereas I could quite happily listen to one of about six breakfast shows daily without any problem. It feels as if British radio is putting all of its effort and personality in to four hours between 6 and 10 with nothing creatively left for the rest of the day.
I suppose the problem has been slightly alleviated by the recent move of Scott Mills to Radio 1 daytimes. Much as I don’t mind Greg James, I’ve regularly found myself turning over to recordings when his show is on. I’m not sure what it is that doesn’t quite gel about the show, perhaps it is the fake lack of confidence in content or new features (something which Dev milks to eyewateringly awful levels). The afternoon show felt genuinely delightful when Chris Moyles covered for a couple of days two weeks ago. Freed from the cage and crew of the breakfast show, Moyles sounded like a newly invigorated man who was having the most fun he’d had in the past five years. I do hope the BBC bosses were taking note that he isn’t a one trick pony, nor is he creatively spent, nor does he have to rely on having a crowd of people around him.
So what of the "Importance of Yabsley"? Well, Steve is about the only person i can find who is trying to inject some personality into daytime radio at the moment and the fact that he's spent most of the past eighteen months worrying that the BBC Local Radio cuts will cost him his job seem criminally wrong to me when he is doing something genuinely different on local radio.
Thursday 15 March 2012
Radio for people who hate thinking for themselves
Don't get me wrong, there have been some marvellous pop songs over the years. The problem i have with one particular broadcaster is that they only have a playlist of fifty of them.
Global Radio's "Hot Adult Contemporary" broadcasting arm is commonly known as Heart. One of their gormless slogans is "More Music Variety", which i think is supposed to be ironic. Sadly my workplace has certain areas where Heart can be heard 24/7 which means whenever you need to hear a song by Adele, you can always do it. If its not Adele, it is Kelly Clarkson's current carbon copy of Bruno Mars' "Just The Way You Are" (a Heart staple last year) which is titled "Mr Know-it-all". And if not that, Christina Perri and her wailing "Jar of Farts".
I lost it today during the barrel-scrapingly awful "Time Tunnel" guess-the-year feature, pioneered by Noel Edmonds and Simon Bates on Radio 1 and now copied by every creativity free ILR station in the country. The same six safe, tedious records from each year get trotted out each time. Perhaps it'll be George Michael's "Careless Whisper". Maybe we'll be treated to "Finally" by CeCe Peniston. Or how about another spin of Giorgio Moroder's "Together in Electric Dreams" with Phil Oakey out of off of the Human League. On their own, some of these records are bearable, but I just cannot percieve a point in my life where i would ever want to listen to such a boringly thin playlist. The output of Heart genuinely makes Radio 2's music selection seem edgy and challenging.
Then i start ranting, sometimes even out loud. I'll often comment that "Heart is radio for people who hate music", which i firmly stand by and nobody ever challenges me. It just seems to exist as a conduit for beige audio wallpaper, occasionally punctuated by Toby Anstis plugging some shithouse of a quiz where you have to guess the celebrity talking. You know, like EVERY other ILR has done since time immemorial. And of course the commercials, for the same eight products and services that the commercial department have convinced the managers thereof to purchase airtime.
Heart provides nothing to British radio. They've swallowed up over a dozen locally managed stations, some of which were better than others but they all had an identity that people in the region could understand and relate to. In their place they have provided a tedious, repetitive parade of weak features, repetitive commercials and bland presenters for people who have tedious, repetitive lives that they just want to get over as quickly as possible. So maybe i was wrong about Heart being for people who hate music; perhaps they hate life entirely.
Global Radio's "Hot Adult Contemporary" broadcasting arm is commonly known as Heart. One of their gormless slogans is "More Music Variety", which i think is supposed to be ironic. Sadly my workplace has certain areas where Heart can be heard 24/7 which means whenever you need to hear a song by Adele, you can always do it. If its not Adele, it is Kelly Clarkson's current carbon copy of Bruno Mars' "Just The Way You Are" (a Heart staple last year) which is titled "Mr Know-it-all". And if not that, Christina Perri and her wailing "Jar of Farts".
I lost it today during the barrel-scrapingly awful "Time Tunnel" guess-the-year feature, pioneered by Noel Edmonds and Simon Bates on Radio 1 and now copied by every creativity free ILR station in the country. The same six safe, tedious records from each year get trotted out each time. Perhaps it'll be George Michael's "Careless Whisper". Maybe we'll be treated to "Finally" by CeCe Peniston. Or how about another spin of Giorgio Moroder's "Together in Electric Dreams" with Phil Oakey out of off of the Human League. On their own, some of these records are bearable, but I just cannot percieve a point in my life where i would ever want to listen to such a boringly thin playlist. The output of Heart genuinely makes Radio 2's music selection seem edgy and challenging.
Then i start ranting, sometimes even out loud. I'll often comment that "Heart is radio for people who hate music", which i firmly stand by and nobody ever challenges me. It just seems to exist as a conduit for beige audio wallpaper, occasionally punctuated by Toby Anstis plugging some shithouse of a quiz where you have to guess the celebrity talking. You know, like EVERY other ILR has done since time immemorial. And of course the commercials, for the same eight products and services that the commercial department have convinced the managers thereof to purchase airtime.
Heart provides nothing to British radio. They've swallowed up over a dozen locally managed stations, some of which were better than others but they all had an identity that people in the region could understand and relate to. In their place they have provided a tedious, repetitive parade of weak features, repetitive commercials and bland presenters for people who have tedious, repetitive lives that they just want to get over as quickly as possible. So maybe i was wrong about Heart being for people who hate music; perhaps they hate life entirely.
Wednesday 7 March 2012
Creative Excellency
So what do i actually rate at the moment? Well, i've been shopping recently and bought heaps of albums and compilations. Here are some highlights:
Chromeo - "Don't Turn On The Lights" (Aeroplane Remix) is a marvellous slice of deep dish disco.
A Brand - "For Blood" is the first track on their "Future You" album which is dark, broody and hooky arthouse indie pop.
C-Mon & Kypski have released a best-of album, "From Scratch til the Fat Lady Sings" which is a great collection of funky hip hop beats that'll probably get ripped off by every talentless R&B tosser over the next five years.
Das Pop's album of last year "The Game" isn't as immediately accessible as their preceeding eponymous album, but they have demonstrated a development of their wonky pop sound to include new influences, notably the late 70s transitional period of rock music. Standout tracks are "Skip The Rope" and "I Me Mine".
School is Cool have just released their debut album "Entropology", which adds energy to the wave of new tech savvy guitar bands threatening to break through with strong traditional songwriting.
Whilst i'm not a huge fan of all of the work of Skrillex, the track "Bangarang" is excellent being free from the po-faced twattery demonstrated on "Breakin' A Sweat".
Just to prove that all hip hop doesn't have to be a pale rip off of somebody else's work, Undefined's album "Crimes Against Logic" shows a talent for constructing classic rap tracks that is rarely demonstrated these days. The opening title track is particularly excellent.
M83's dreamy marvel "Midnight City" is a sweet wall of classic pop sounds.
A couple of top finds on Studio Brussel's excellent Switch compilations are twisted marvels "Handbraekes" by Riho, which is a lively, rhythmic collection of tortured bleeps and abstract effects and "Tetris" by Doctor P, a cover of the music from the Nintendo GameBoy given a hilarious speed Dubstep makeover.
So who says i'm not positive every so often...?
Chromeo - "Don't Turn On The Lights" (Aeroplane Remix) is a marvellous slice of deep dish disco.
A Brand - "For Blood" is the first track on their "Future You" album which is dark, broody and hooky arthouse indie pop.
C-Mon & Kypski have released a best-of album, "From Scratch til the Fat Lady Sings" which is a great collection of funky hip hop beats that'll probably get ripped off by every talentless R&B tosser over the next five years.
Das Pop's album of last year "The Game" isn't as immediately accessible as their preceeding eponymous album, but they have demonstrated a development of their wonky pop sound to include new influences, notably the late 70s transitional period of rock music. Standout tracks are "Skip The Rope" and "I Me Mine".
School is Cool have just released their debut album "Entropology", which adds energy to the wave of new tech savvy guitar bands threatening to break through with strong traditional songwriting.
Whilst i'm not a huge fan of all of the work of Skrillex, the track "Bangarang" is excellent being free from the po-faced twattery demonstrated on "Breakin' A Sweat".
Just to prove that all hip hop doesn't have to be a pale rip off of somebody else's work, Undefined's album "Crimes Against Logic" shows a talent for constructing classic rap tracks that is rarely demonstrated these days. The opening title track is particularly excellent.
M83's dreamy marvel "Midnight City" is a sweet wall of classic pop sounds.
A couple of top finds on Studio Brussel's excellent Switch compilations are twisted marvels "Handbraekes" by Riho, which is a lively, rhythmic collection of tortured bleeps and abstract effects and "Tetris" by Doctor P, a cover of the music from the Nintendo GameBoy given a hilarious speed Dubstep makeover.
So who says i'm not positive every so often...?
Creative Bankruptcy
Nobody wants to admit it, but some of the world's biggest artists are completely creatively spent and they're fully aware of their predicament. How do they rectify this? By ripping off underground and foreign artists hook, line, sinker and copy of Angling Times.
Until recently, i hadn't been aware of the Major Lazer tech-dancehall track "Pon de Floor", but i guarantee that 95% plus of the people who hear it would say it was Beyonce's 2011 hit "Run The World (Girls)". Producers Switch and Diplo collaborated with Vybz Kartel on the track in 2009 and it was a high profile hit on the dancehall scene, although attracted little in the way of mainstream attention.
Now i'm fully aware that sampling is an accepted part of the modern music industry and some really inventive cover-remix hybrid tracks have been produced over the past decade, but Beyonce's wholesale theft of the Major Lazer track is shameful, especially as she couldn't add anything aside from her asinine, rhythmless warbling vocal. Total effort made? A couple of hours at most. The only saving grace is that Beyonce's version was re-produced by Switch and Diplo.
But this new age of plagiarism isn't just an American phenomenon. Ben "Plan B" Drew recently started airing "Ill Manors", the first musical offering from his forthcoming film of the same name. To say it is not an original composition would be an understatement - the music on the track is lifted wholesale from Peter Fox's 2008 German language hit "Alles Neu" (Everything is New). Fox first found mainstream success as part of dancehall act Seeed, then moving on to record his own massively successful solo album "Stadtaffe" (City Ape).
Drew has added little to the original instrumental save for some crappy broken dubstep beats. The lyrics are far more inventive than Beyonce managed, harking back to Drew's pre-Stickland Banks rap album "Who Needs Actions When You Got Words", but to anybody who knows Peter Fox's broodier and far more menacing original, the words don't matter because its a pale immitation of a great original.
It comes as a sad day when the likes of Nicki Minaj and her ADHD lyric style over some weak sampling of early 90s european hardcore dance isn't as repugnant as it should be. Her latest single "Starships" is just one long collection of disjointed sounds and a complete mess. It'll probably be a huge success.
Until recently, i hadn't been aware of the Major Lazer tech-dancehall track "Pon de Floor", but i guarantee that 95% plus of the people who hear it would say it was Beyonce's 2011 hit "Run The World (Girls)". Producers Switch and Diplo collaborated with Vybz Kartel on the track in 2009 and it was a high profile hit on the dancehall scene, although attracted little in the way of mainstream attention.
Now i'm fully aware that sampling is an accepted part of the modern music industry and some really inventive cover-remix hybrid tracks have been produced over the past decade, but Beyonce's wholesale theft of the Major Lazer track is shameful, especially as she couldn't add anything aside from her asinine, rhythmless warbling vocal. Total effort made? A couple of hours at most. The only saving grace is that Beyonce's version was re-produced by Switch and Diplo.
But this new age of plagiarism isn't just an American phenomenon. Ben "Plan B" Drew recently started airing "Ill Manors", the first musical offering from his forthcoming film of the same name. To say it is not an original composition would be an understatement - the music on the track is lifted wholesale from Peter Fox's 2008 German language hit "Alles Neu" (Everything is New). Fox first found mainstream success as part of dancehall act Seeed, then moving on to record his own massively successful solo album "Stadtaffe" (City Ape).
Drew has added little to the original instrumental save for some crappy broken dubstep beats. The lyrics are far more inventive than Beyonce managed, harking back to Drew's pre-Stickland Banks rap album "Who Needs Actions When You Got Words", but to anybody who knows Peter Fox's broodier and far more menacing original, the words don't matter because its a pale immitation of a great original.
It comes as a sad day when the likes of Nicki Minaj and her ADHD lyric style over some weak sampling of early 90s european hardcore dance isn't as repugnant as it should be. Her latest single "Starships" is just one long collection of disjointed sounds and a complete mess. It'll probably be a huge success.
Wednesday 29 February 2012
THE JOPI AWARDS FOR 2011
And unlike some lesser awards shows, these are given for and therefore named after the year in which the work was done rather than the year we're six weeks in to.
SONG OF THE YEAR: All The Young - Welcome Home
Despite what Radio 1's playlisters would have you believe whilst playlisting yet another American college band, Great British Rock and Roll isn't dead. This swirling, rousing six minute epic takes what could be an run of the mill indie song and builds a gorgeously glamourous celebration of the people of the Midlands - their hopes, dreams, aspirations and most importantly their reality. With their album of the same title due for release in April 2012, this could be a massive year for the band.
Also of worthwhile mention... was Swede Mason's Masterchef Synaesthesia, which could easily have won this category. Most novelty records get tiresome very quickly, but i can still quite happily listen to this six months later. The use of the music to work around and built up the edits and clips available is absolute genius.
SINGLE OF THE YEAR: Ed Sheeran - You Need Me, I Don't Need You
Despite the fact it takes the detective skills of Sherlock Holmes to find a copy, this CD single is excellent. The radio version is by far the best song from Sheeran's + album, demonstrating that the lad can let rip with his emotions when needs be and the collection of versions and mixes takes it in all sorts of different directions. The live version is beautifully raw, showcasing the talent that has propelled Sheeran into the limelight. Wretch 32 and Devlin guest on an alterative take of the original which works well. The two remixes both take a dubstep-tinged tint on the track, but neither feel as though they reach their logical conclusion.
ALBUM OF THE YEAR: Kitsune Maison 9
Yes i know it came out in April 2010, but regular readers of this should know i'm almost permanently a year behind with albums. 2011 to me was a dismal year for artist albums, possibly in proportion to my lack of trips to continental Europe, but regardless of that there were very few artists who grabbed my attention sufficiently that i'd want to buy an album. This was the best of those i did buy on CD, almost without doubt the best of the excellent Kitsune compilations to date. The bar is set ridiculously high by the sumptuous opener "Belong" by Washed Out, the perfect anthem to a late summer afternoon with really inventive production. Other highlights are the divine "Stop and Stare" by Fenech Soler and offerings from Yuksek, Penguin Prison and a marvellous remix by Twelves of Two Door Cinema Club.
RADIO STATION OF THE YEAR: Studio Brussel (Belgium)
Despite the fact that the station is getting a little heavyhanded with their daytime power playlist of songs which will appear at least every three hours, StuBru is still the most reliable offering out there.
MUSIC RADIO SHOW OF THE YEAR: Kissy Sell Out (BBC Radio 1)
A year or so back, Radio 1 rehashed their Friday night dance line up to include a show called "Annie Mac's Mash Up" which was heavily promoted with a theme of "there are no rules, we mash the music up". In reality, the show was terrible and played a narrower window of music than most other specialist shows. Kissy Sell Out's two hours of Thursday night lunacy are the complete opposite. The guy has the talent to be able to mix practically anything together and make it work like they were made for each other. Kissy's Duracell-bunny like enthusiasm is very infectious and utterly marvellous.
FACTUAL RADIO SHOW OF THE YEAR: The Museum of Curiosity (BBC Radio 4)
I'm not sure it should be in the factual category, but The Museum of Curiosity is a fine place to learn about a topic that you otherwise probably wouldn't know of. The premise is that three guests each week contribute an exhibit to the museum and wax lyrical about their donation. This being an entirely abstract museum means that anything at all can go in there from people to concepts to items, there are no rules. Normally this sort of thing would just sound like a badly organised shambles, but with the expertise of QI creator John Lloyd at the helm the show glides along beautifully.
COMEDY RADIO SHOW OF THE YEAR: It's Your Round (BBC Radio 4)
This poorly scheduled panel game gives Angus Deayton the opportunity to remind us just how good he is at presenting this genre. The premise is delightfully simple - panel guests each bring along a game to play on air and it works marvellously well. Even the rounds that don't work attract acerbic criticism from Deayton which makes for good entertainment.
BROADCASTER OF THE YEAR: Steve Yabsley (BBC Radio Bristol / Somerset)
I've judged this category this year on the basis of whom i miss the most when they're not on air. Perhaps the measure of a good broadcaster should be how irritated you are when they're on holiday. I don't know if its the choice of stand-in, but i cannot abide Yabbo's absence. Steve's well developed format of listener contribution, zany topics and entertaining sidekicks sits well with the offbeat interviews on each show and is a relief from the station's morning diet of angry people phoning in to complain about things and the desperate hand-wringing tone of
isn't this awful? going on. The thankfully shelved BBC cutbacks to local radio would have seen shows like this taken away in favour of the worthy but often depressing local interest stories, which would have resulted in stations like Radio Bristol being all misery and no play. The cuts would have also seen the end of the similarly delightful afternoon show with Elise Rayner.
LIVE ACT OF THE YEAR: Digitalism
Without doubt the most stark assault my senses have been subjected to all year, the sounds and lights of the Digitalism epic spectacle gives a good kicking to the theory that all we want to see these days are indentikit solo artists.
MUSIC RETAILER OF THE YEAR: Acorn Music, Yeovil
Given that my visits to record shops during 2011 were probably in single figures and i flatly refuse to recognise the GAMES, ELECTRONICS, PHONES, DVD and occasional CD retailer HMV as a music retailer any longer, i probably found a visit to Acorn the most rewarding this year. They've now diversified in to providing sheet music, whilst still retaining their core business and one can only hope this provides them with enough success to remain in business in these massively difficult times. As an aside, i've already been to three record shops in 2012 which would have won the category...
HOPE FOR 2012...
Two main hopes - firstly that All The Young's album will be as awesome as it deserves to be and that Swede Mason will come up with another barnstormer. Others mainly revolve around the extermination of the career of Pixie Lott...
SONG OF THE YEAR: All The Young - Welcome Home
Despite what Radio 1's playlisters would have you believe whilst playlisting yet another American college band, Great British Rock and Roll isn't dead. This swirling, rousing six minute epic takes what could be an run of the mill indie song and builds a gorgeously glamourous celebration of the people of the Midlands - their hopes, dreams, aspirations and most importantly their reality. With their album of the same title due for release in April 2012, this could be a massive year for the band.
Also of worthwhile mention... was Swede Mason's Masterchef Synaesthesia, which could easily have won this category. Most novelty records get tiresome very quickly, but i can still quite happily listen to this six months later. The use of the music to work around and built up the edits and clips available is absolute genius.
SINGLE OF THE YEAR: Ed Sheeran - You Need Me, I Don't Need You
Despite the fact it takes the detective skills of Sherlock Holmes to find a copy, this CD single is excellent. The radio version is by far the best song from Sheeran's + album, demonstrating that the lad can let rip with his emotions when needs be and the collection of versions and mixes takes it in all sorts of different directions. The live version is beautifully raw, showcasing the talent that has propelled Sheeran into the limelight. Wretch 32 and Devlin guest on an alterative take of the original which works well. The two remixes both take a dubstep-tinged tint on the track, but neither feel as though they reach their logical conclusion.
ALBUM OF THE YEAR: Kitsune Maison 9
Yes i know it came out in April 2010, but regular readers of this should know i'm almost permanently a year behind with albums. 2011 to me was a dismal year for artist albums, possibly in proportion to my lack of trips to continental Europe, but regardless of that there were very few artists who grabbed my attention sufficiently that i'd want to buy an album. This was the best of those i did buy on CD, almost without doubt the best of the excellent Kitsune compilations to date. The bar is set ridiculously high by the sumptuous opener "Belong" by Washed Out, the perfect anthem to a late summer afternoon with really inventive production. Other highlights are the divine "Stop and Stare" by Fenech Soler and offerings from Yuksek, Penguin Prison and a marvellous remix by Twelves of Two Door Cinema Club.
RADIO STATION OF THE YEAR: Studio Brussel (Belgium)
Despite the fact that the station is getting a little heavyhanded with their daytime power playlist of songs which will appear at least every three hours, StuBru is still the most reliable offering out there.
MUSIC RADIO SHOW OF THE YEAR: Kissy Sell Out (BBC Radio 1)
A year or so back, Radio 1 rehashed their Friday night dance line up to include a show called "Annie Mac's Mash Up" which was heavily promoted with a theme of "there are no rules, we mash the music up". In reality, the show was terrible and played a narrower window of music than most other specialist shows. Kissy Sell Out's two hours of Thursday night lunacy are the complete opposite. The guy has the talent to be able to mix practically anything together and make it work like they were made for each other. Kissy's Duracell-bunny like enthusiasm is very infectious and utterly marvellous.
FACTUAL RADIO SHOW OF THE YEAR: The Museum of Curiosity (BBC Radio 4)
I'm not sure it should be in the factual category, but The Museum of Curiosity is a fine place to learn about a topic that you otherwise probably wouldn't know of. The premise is that three guests each week contribute an exhibit to the museum and wax lyrical about their donation. This being an entirely abstract museum means that anything at all can go in there from people to concepts to items, there are no rules. Normally this sort of thing would just sound like a badly organised shambles, but with the expertise of QI creator John Lloyd at the helm the show glides along beautifully.
COMEDY RADIO SHOW OF THE YEAR: It's Your Round (BBC Radio 4)
This poorly scheduled panel game gives Angus Deayton the opportunity to remind us just how good he is at presenting this genre. The premise is delightfully simple - panel guests each bring along a game to play on air and it works marvellously well. Even the rounds that don't work attract acerbic criticism from Deayton which makes for good entertainment.
BROADCASTER OF THE YEAR: Steve Yabsley (BBC Radio Bristol / Somerset)
I've judged this category this year on the basis of whom i miss the most when they're not on air. Perhaps the measure of a good broadcaster should be how irritated you are when they're on holiday. I don't know if its the choice of stand-in, but i cannot abide Yabbo's absence. Steve's well developed format of listener contribution, zany topics and entertaining sidekicks sits well with the offbeat interviews on each show and is a relief from the station's morning diet of angry people phoning in to complain about things and the desperate hand-wringing tone of
isn't this awful? going on. The thankfully shelved BBC cutbacks to local radio would have seen shows like this taken away in favour of the worthy but often depressing local interest stories, which would have resulted in stations like Radio Bristol being all misery and no play. The cuts would have also seen the end of the similarly delightful afternoon show with Elise Rayner.
LIVE ACT OF THE YEAR: Digitalism
Without doubt the most stark assault my senses have been subjected to all year, the sounds and lights of the Digitalism epic spectacle gives a good kicking to the theory that all we want to see these days are indentikit solo artists.
MUSIC RETAILER OF THE YEAR: Acorn Music, Yeovil
Given that my visits to record shops during 2011 were probably in single figures and i flatly refuse to recognise the GAMES, ELECTRONICS, PHONES, DVD and occasional CD retailer HMV as a music retailer any longer, i probably found a visit to Acorn the most rewarding this year. They've now diversified in to providing sheet music, whilst still retaining their core business and one can only hope this provides them with enough success to remain in business in these massively difficult times. As an aside, i've already been to three record shops in 2012 which would have won the category...
HOPE FOR 2012...
Two main hopes - firstly that All The Young's album will be as awesome as it deserves to be and that Swede Mason will come up with another barnstormer. Others mainly revolve around the extermination of the career of Pixie Lott...
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