Bored. Stop now.

Its another collection of single reviews. The title refers to the first review...

Little Boots - New In Town (679/Atlantic)
Laptop pop stops here. The genre is officially five songs old and completely exhausted of ideas. The best idea left is apparently this dire shitbag rehash of Pink's "Feel Good Time" with el generico "we're going out" lyrics, some abysmal electronica (to make it qualify for the Laptop Pop tag) and no imagination whatsoever.

La Roux - In For The Kill / Bulletproof (Polydor)
More Laptop Pop. Sadly, La Roux (Elly Jackson to her friends) has missed the target with both of these songs. Both have promising musical structure and verses, but the sheer triteness of the choruses takes some stomaching; "I'm going in for the kill / I'm doing it for the thrill / I'm hoping you understand / And now let go of my hand" and "This time i'll be bulletproof" (repeat three times). Its a real shame with Bulletproof as the rest of the song is rather good. The cult of shit ultra-repetitive choruses is spreading as well...

Dizzee Rascal & Armand van Helden - Bonkers (TBC)
On paper, this is a superb idea. Rolling off the back of Dizzee's success with Calvin Harris on the respectable "Dance With Me", Dizzee scripts some lyrics over an Armand van Helden tune. On the first listen it works nicely, but it just doesn't stand up to repeated listening. Dizzee has written one verse and a chorus which get repeated over and over and over. And over. It just gets utterly boring and tedious, particularly when in high rotation on Radio 1, Kiss et al. A proper wasted opportunity.

Kasabian - Fire (Paradise/BMG)
Kasabian are a band who have brought us some brilliant songs over their past two albums, but this isn't one of them. Its another case of having lots of ideas, none of them very good and trying to build a song out of them. The whole thing just sounds weak and like album filler.

Beyonce - Halo (RCA)
Another case of shit chorus syndrome, in which Beyonce sings the word "Halo" over and over again until your ears bleed. We know you're a diva with a gigantic range, but for heavens' sake employ some bloody songwriters for your next album!

Ciara & Justin Timberlake - Love, Sex and Magic (BMG)
Sometimes i wonder what i've done wrong in my life to deserve such punishment, particularly when i hear drivel like this. Unlike Ciara's previous few songs which troubled the charts, this has no hook, no redeeming features and no point to its existance. Ciara's performance has seen more processing power than Kanye West did on "Love Lockdown" and Justin Timberlake has been brought on board to sell three extra copies.

Prodigy - Warriors Dance (Take Me To The Hospital)
The best Prodigy single since "No Good (Start The Dance)" and finally a decent song after years of polishing Keith Flint's ego and pretending to be all punk. If anything could have added a bit of rave to the Nu-Rave movement, this single would have been it. Just a shame its two or three years too late.

Girls Aloud - Untouchable (Polydor)
Another Pet Shop Boys rejected b-side, eh? I give Cheryl Cole about three months before she deserts the sinking ship.

Alesha Dixon - Lets Get Excited (Asylum / Atlantic)
Just as the Alesha showboat is moving across Europe with "The Boy Does Nothing", the UK is given this rather calculated single from everybody's favourite dancer. Despite singing "Lets Get Excited" over and over, Alesha doesn't sound particularly excited and the whole thing sounds a bit plastic.

Flo-Rida & Wynter - Sugar (Atlantic)
This song has one redeeming feature - the fact that Eiffel 65 should get royalties from it.

Green Day - Know Your Enemy (Reprise)
Green Day are now sounding like rich old men trying to stay topical, trying to still be punk and failing on both counts. The previous "American Idiot" concept album which explored some interesting territory was at least inventive in deviating away from tedious plastic protest pop, but this sounds like a band very bored, resting on considerable laurels.

So there we have it. I'm very grumpy at the moment, after previously harbouring enthusiasm about some of the music that was doing the rounds over the winter.