April's Assorted Anger

Another collection of musical musings. I apologise that i'm not in a good mood at the moment;

Lady Gaga - Poker Face
I'm mystified as to why this record is popular. It seems to be a badly produced half song with an irritating earworm. "Pa pa pa Pokerface. Pa pa pa pahkerface" she sings. Apparently men can't tell whats going on in her mind. Well duh.

TI - Dead and Gone
This is far less irritating that his last record, but i suspect we'll be suffering from it for ages yet as he's now 84% more famous as he's fulfilled one of the rapper cliches, namely being arrested for trying to buy machine guns. Come on, what the hell do you need a machine gun for? To prove your predictions about what'll happen when you're Dead and Gone?

Kings of Leon - Revelry
America's favourite nasal whiners notch up a third album from their "Only by the Night" album. Why on earth this tedious album filler track is picking up mainstream radio play is anyone's guess, the only possible plus side to arise from it is Chris Moyles' parody that is currently doing the rounds.

Akon - Beautiful
Another tedious identikit record from Akon. The only partial interest found around this one is that he's discovered how to make his records sound like slowed down versions of late 90s dance music, which would be fine if it was an instrumental. Instead we're punished with Akon's mithering.

Beyonce - Halo
In which Ms Knowles demonstrates that if somebody forgets to write a song, she'll just sing a few random words and it'll still be a massive hit. With a silent S.

Ciara - Love Sex Magic
America's #1 overpromoted dancer who can't sing has obviously fallen out with her record label and they won't pay for her to have decent songs any more. Love Sex Magic seems to rely on vocal post-production, backing singers and guest vocalists, yet Ciara still sounds awful. And its not even as interesting as the irritating Goodies.

Fleet Foxes - White Winter Hymnal
I don't get Fleet Foxes at all. I hear etheral, layered vocal folk music for people with beards and nothing even remotely innovative. Their albums should be released by a Glastonbury based record label who produce organic CDs on hemp discs.

Ironik - Tiny Dancer
The man who soundtracked a thousand chav funerals with his chipmunk vocals in Stay With Me returns with a useless Elton John sample being used to prop up a below average wander around the desert of uninspired rap. Why is he called Ironik? What is remotely Ironik about his music? The fact that he doesn't have a clue what irony is?

And i'm not even going to start of the latest bloody awful and pointless Girls Aloud record. I could almost stomach them when they were making half decent pop, but they just seem to warble along to any old toss now and count the money coming in.